November 8, 2007
Boy Acted Drunk Then Passed Out for 6 Hours
Nowadys(sp-nowadays), we more and more care about our health than before. And concerning everything it is good or bad to us. What’s more, we always put our attention on kids’ health. We try to provide children a safe and clean environment for protect them from dangerous. Sometimes we just be(word-are so careless would be better) careless and make some mistakes. But sometime(sp-sometimes) it just because we trust the government and big(word-vast would be better)company too much. Thus, we always can read the accident like this on newspaper and TV very often. This news can give warning to parents to pay more attention on the product(word-pl. would be better) which they are going to buy. They should think twice before they buy it. Or they should find some information about the product on the website set by government. But I think this news is more than warning customer. The comment in this news is a little bit (grammar-kind of) bias. The mother has mentioned that "When I've called they've said, 'We're so sorry, it must have been terrible. We all know that the company should responsible for this accident. And the company did do some action to this product. But the way (word-add what)the mother said just like to(world-delete just like to) make(s) us feel the company is cruel. And another thing is why didn’t the reporter(grammar-why the reporter didn’t) write if the company was punished or not.(the sentence could be more specific) He should say it to us for letting people know that if the government did their duty or not. (the sentence could be more specific) And should we still believe or support this government (for the) next election?
Jean’s advice: I think that Susan’s opinion is practical, but the crack is that she could use more specific and proper words to present her idea, and that way her article would be more fluent instead of using the Chinese way translate in English. In all, the shortage won’t have effect on her article’s idea.
November 22, 2007
Babies 'show social intelligence'
Recently, there are(grammar-is) more and more research of baby. Most of them are about how babies’ intelligence or language. But this one is about babies show social intelligence. There are more mysteries in babies’ bread than we’ve thought. And this news did surprise me that babies should make social judgement(word-judge)!(sentence?!) Somehow it is unbelievable and interesting that they should learn and make judgement(word-judge) beside us without our knowing. (sentence?!) How amazing it is. Still now I can’t believe it. What’s more, in their mind they can discern what is good or bad. And it is what we have never thought about. It also means that we should pay more attention on our behavior. We can not be bad in front of them. (sentence?!)(We should be their model and behave good manner would be better) As now we know that babies are prepared to learn social interaction, and we could advance their education for avoiding they accept the wrong message. Though babies can learn from watching, it does not means that they can judge what is right or wrong. They still need teaching. (sentence-need to be given guidance or need proper education would be better)Thanks for the research(word-researchers would be better) for correcting the misunderstanding of baby in our mind, or we will never know hoe(sp-how) amazing baby is. And now, we can comprehend with (grammar?!) baby more clearly.
Jean’s advice: Maybe I lack of learning to understand what Susan want to express, I have to apologize about this. The same things I found out in this article are that Susan might be using the native language to speak English and focusing on words using would be better. And the grammar here is better. Actually, reading this article is an enjoyment for the interesting issue and Susan’s flushed emotion to share with.
November 27, 2007
Voice of the Tube silenced by LU
For me, I think it is interesting and exciting to here(sp-hear) my own voice in the public place. Though I haven’t had that kind of experience, but I think it must be amusing. Somehow, it still can be embarrassed. When you want to buy a ticket by machine, and the voice of the guider are yourself, it must be strange. Also it can be very funny. I really admire the person who can express her own though straightly in a humor way. Emma Clarke said her opinion when she was working. But it is not a good way to say something bed (sp-bad)that which would provoke people in a public place. Especially when the person is your boos(sp-boss)! No wander(wonder) that she lost her job after it. I think the positive in the news is that everyone has his own right to advance his suggestion straightly. No one can forbid it.(sentence-more information to support would be better) And the negative is that when you are a famous person or (a) general person, you should not give your own suggestion in the public. (I firmly agree with you)You should be more careful about your speech for demos’ though will easily be affected by you.(sentence- structure?!) Thus, I think it is not wise to do what Emma Clarke did.
Jean’s advice: Just a little default of spelling, and I think that it’s lacking of conscious would cause that happened. And you make great progress by improving your grammar which is good. I not only like your article but the opinion you share, I think no one could get 100% freedom to do anything you want, you never know what you have done is appropriate or not. As the saying goes:A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
December 10, 2007
'Taken over by Satan'
The genocide in Rwanda in 1994 convulsed the world. More than one million people die in the genocide. All of us can’t understand why they should do such cruel things. Only the person who is out of his mind would do that. But according to this news we may get more understand about it. This news is a confession of one killer of the genocide. He told that before this action happened there are already some conflicts between the Hutus and Tusis. And the conflicts are more serious than we though. The Tusis are always the lower status in the society. And it’s hard for them to change it. What’s more they are always treated unwell by the Hutus. For these reasons, begin the war. But as the killer said, the most important reason why they should do it is that they were taken by the state. They lost their mind but not knowing why. He is suffering by the dead people last appearance. In my opinion, though their action won’t be forgot(grammar-forgotten) by people, we still have to find out the reasons which made they do the massacre. Maybe they didn’t want to do that at first. Maybe they have no choices to do that to arouse our attention. And I think the bias in the news is that the killer said he did not killed more than one people. How could it be possible in that kind of situation he shouldn’t killed more than one? Or we can say if he felt sympathy for the Tusis why should he attend the action? But I think it is quit a good thing to report the different sides of view of the gencode.(sp-genocide?!) After all, we can not judge one thing in a view.
Jean’s advice: Seems that you make progress day by day. I like the opinion you shared and the issues and questions you aroused which impress me. And sometimes gaining knowledge is upon questioning yourself. Good!
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